dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Shame - the story of my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
