Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
