We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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