how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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