My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
