Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
