I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
