Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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