I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
