I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
