I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I want is dick and wine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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