I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
