what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
