thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
