Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
