I want to have your abortion
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We have so much sex to catch up on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
