so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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