You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Are we still banned from the library?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
