I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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