Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
