Small penises have feelings too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
