capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
