Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
