i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
