What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
