So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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