Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
