I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
