I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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