I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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