You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
