No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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