i may or may not be watching the land before time
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
