If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
