it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
