I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My balls are so social today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
