ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
