I CAN MOONWALK!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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