I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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