i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
