so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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