Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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