she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Damn victory sex feels great
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
