Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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