i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
