You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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