So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have feelings that need drinking.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
