cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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