I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
