sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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