chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
