He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
