I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
