Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh god it's open bar.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
