So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
