he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
where are my eyebrows?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
