Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Drunk is not a location!
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